WE ARE NOT ALONE

I just came back from a much needed rest from the rest of the world. It was a was an empowering time for me, attending the Autism One Conference in Chicago, among other parents and professionals on the same path as I. Instantly I found a connection with every single person I came in contact with, and that is an amazing feeling since there has been so many times where I felt alone.

Often it seems like the rest of the world just doesn't understand or have any compassion on what our family is going through. I get to the point where I question myself, asking am I making too much of Jacobs challenges? Everyone has issues they have to deal with, no one is perfect. Everyone has to overcome some personal challenge in their lives, right?

After meeting so many parents with the children having the same challenges, I begin to feel better. No, I'm not making too much of Jacob's disability. We struggle every single day with this. I say we because it involves our whole family. We are in the moment with Jacob explaining to him why he shouldn't tell another person X, getting him motivated enough to get dressed in the morning, making sure he doesn't drink a whole liter of Coke in 3 hours, dealing with his anxiety building.

So when there is a group of parents dealing with exact same issues as our family, trying to get answers as to why the Autism rate is sharply rising, and how to help our children, the feeling is overwhelmingly positive. Besides the wealth of information on a number of subjects, the bonding experience is indescribable.

Example of Processing Disorder

Jacob has been taking a natural supplement to help him sleep for the last few years called melatonin. Without it, he will be awake all night long. At this point when I request him to take it, Jacob can find the correct bottle, read the label and can take one tablet with water.

It's 8 PM at our house, time to wind down and get ready for bed. The boys are arguing with each other, at the same time Jake is worried about not going on the end of the year school field trip. Over the kids voices, I say "Jacob, go take your melatonin". I'm pretty sure he heard me as I said it loudly over the boys voices. The brothers continue to argue, and Jacob walks into the kitchen and sits down at the kitchen table. "Jacob, go take your melatonin", I tell him once more. Jacob continues to sit on the chair looking straight at me with no response to my request. After I wait a few more minutes, I demand, "Jake, did you hear me? Why aren't you taking your melatonin! Get up and go take it now! Are you listening to me?"

Jacob slowly walks into the connecting living room and sits on the couch adjacent to me. With his head down he utters "because I'm so confused" he utters. My emotions go from angry towards him, to feeling terribly guilty. I realize, this poor kid has so many ideas running through his brain he can't process and execute what I was telling him. He's not being defiant, he just can't do what I asked. I immediately put my arms around him and said "I'm so glad you told me that your confused, I'll go get it for you".

Originally I believed that my son was just being defiant and wasn't doing what I had asked him to do. Can you imagine how many times he is being perceived as being difficult or unmotivated (at school in particular). He has been accused of this quite frequently. Also, can you imagine how frustrating this must be to Jacob as well, being yelled at and getting in trouble for not listening? It is unusual to be so verbal and express that he is "confused". Normally he wouldn't say anything at all, or just get angry.

This is an example of brain processing. Upon taking in information, it gets lost along the way. My wish is that teachers would read this post and have some bells going off.

One More Small Step Forward

After careful consideration, Jake was put on a low dose of additional of medication to help with his moods and compulsions over a month ago. To sum it up he would often get agitated easily and lash out, and have certain compulsive thoughts and actions, impacting him negatively every day. This is another one of Jacobs "symptoms" that effects the whole household.

Of coarse the Doc. is very careful and starts on the smallest dosage, then increases slowly so we can see if there are any bad effects and it well tolerated. So far, so good no adverse side effects except for his ferocious appetite. In the 6 weeks or so being on the new medicine he has gained a whopping 10 pounds! In lieu of this recent weight gain, we have concentrated on the food in the house, making sure there are lots of fruits and veggies cut up and ready. Much to my surprise, my son has realized his increased appetite, understands it is due to this new medication and is positive about making different food choices. Additionally, Jacob is also involved with hockey and basketball, and in school he has phys. ed daily, so he is getting lots of physical activity.

A definite keeper! His mood is much more stabilized and he is not having as much compulsive thoughts. I'm not sure if we are on the correct dosage yet, but he is definitely going in the right direction! Hurray! One more step up!

The decision to treat my child with medication has been a heart wrenching decision, especially being on more than one! I don't recommend it to anyone, but only when to have the brightest physician on your side, and be well informed and take it extremely slow. There has been several different things we have tried first before going this route, and also believe without this intervention, Jacob could not be as happy and productive as he is. I do admit, I too take medication daily, and without it, I don't do well, so I realize what the right medicine can do. It has helped me think more clearly which greatly impacts my daily living.

Fragile-X Test Results

The results finally came back from the Fragile X test, and they were negative.

Don't know what Fragile X is? Click the link below.
http://www.nichd.nih.gov/health/topics/fragile_x_syndrome.cfm

December 2010

Recently in the last few months I have attended several educational seminars regarding special education and autism. Fall is the time that most of these take place, so I've been one busy girl!

I wanted to empower myself at the IEP's, find out exactly what the school is responsible for, learn more about current and upcoming autism treatments medical or otherwise, and try to wrap my brain about anything else that would be beneficial.

After days and hundreds of dollars spent, it has impacted me more positively than I thought. I now know a direction to take with Jacob, treatment wise. Also I feel I can share what I have learned and help others.

I found Special Olympics

I discovered that Jacob is eligible to participate in Special Olympics. What a joy to find another organization of which Jacob can be a part of! I am hoping this will go over as well with Jake as the hockey has, he could still use more physical activity and interaction with others. A meeting for players and parents is scheduled for tomorrow night for basket ball, and another is scheduled after Thanksgiving for shoe shoeing. Think I am more excited than Jacob is! I could use more social interaction as well. I am hoping we can swing both sports in addition to the hockey if the days and times don't interfere with each other.

Special Hockey Team

Now that Jacobs mood has leveled out considerably, we felt it would be good for him to begin to get him involved in some sort of team sport. He really could use some physical exercise, more social interaction, plus boost his confidence and self esteem. However finding the right type of team has been difficult . A typical team would not be suitable due to the competitiveness and he would surely not enjoy himself or thrive. With a lot of sports for this age bracket, including the ones at school, Jake would have to try out to make the team roster. Most likely he would not make the team due to his athletic nature, (most kids with ASD have impaired motor functions). Another thing would hinder Jacob being on a regular team is his cognitive ability. Jake has difficulty understanding the sports rules and regulations so he may fully understand all areas of the sport. He may: pass the ball to an opponent, run the opposite way that he needs to, get distracted and lose focus, or not move quickly enough. In response, other children have been known to get angry at him because of his lack of abilities, and this upsets everyone.

We were introduced to a hockey team for kids that are cognitively impaired via one of his school teachers at the beginning of October. It sounded like a good thing for Jacob to be involved in because of this team being non-competitive, and also all the players start out not knowing how to skate. Perfect for our son since he is not a natural athlete! He has never been on the ice before either. The kids are not judged how fast they skate, or any other ability, or disability. It is an amazing organization! There are plenty of encouraging coaches that work with the children, volunteering their time. I am truly grateful to find this organization! Go STARS!

Jacob has been pleased at himself picking up skating quickly. I can see this his smiles when he is out on the rink, along with all the other kids. It's so much fun watching the them as they are taught a new skill and begin to accomplish it.

What's it like to be a parent of an Aspie?

For those of you who have no idea of what it's like to be a parent of an autistic child, this may give you a glimpse into my world just for a few minutes. Let me explain the highlights of our last few weeks in the Stull-Rohde household. It begins with 2 ingredients: a bottle of superglue and a pair of lips. The second incident involved a can of white spray paint and a pair of hands. On with more, including a 2 day suspension from school, several instances of bullying at school, and flushing a yogurt container in our home toilet. I'm ending my explanation with an Internet virus caught. There was more incidents during this short time period, but I think I got my point across.

Yes, instances of anger and thoughts of shouting out #&@! But so much laughter has occured as well with thoughts of how glad I am to be my sons momma too. I love my son very much, life would be so dull without him. I truly believe and know why God chose us to be together as mother and son.

Three Steps Forward Two Steps Back

I was just bragging this afternoon to my friend over lunch on how well Jacob was doing in school in every single subject. Boasting on how he has never has learned so much and what a turn around he has made. Never speak too soon! When will I ever learn? The school called before the end of the school day and told me that Jacob got suspended and that I needed to come by the office and talk with the Vice Principal. My heart dropped. "What now?" I said to myself.

I remained pretty level headed and calm during the meeting with the Vice Principal, so I was able to stay composed. I have been known to fall apart into tears during other similar circumstances. Luckily the VP was very easy to talk to ad listened to what I had to say about Jacob. There's nothing worse than having a one sided conversation from a judging school faculty member, and walking out embarrassed and angry . She seemed very understanding, but also had to enforce the school policy despite Jacobs disability.

I was planning to talk to Jake the next day after we it sunk in a little and we both were calm to find out what this was all about, and also to think how can we handle this at home. In the mean time, I was not too happy with my son about taking days off work because of an incident that happened at school.

October 4, 2010

Jake was tested for Fragile X today. I was alerted via a group on Yahoo about the test, and
decided while he was due for his routine doctor visit to go ahead and get him tested. He was probably going to get his blood drawn anyway, so I asked the Doc. to include it in the battery of tests.

Don't know what Fragile X is? You can read about it BY CLICKING HERE.

October 1, 2010

I sure hope I'm not jinxing this streak of his, but Jake has been doing excellent in school the last 3 weeks. I've NEVER seen his grades so high before, EVER. I am one proud and happy momma!

I am seeing more and more of my old Jacob. He is laughing and back to doing his silly, quirky things my Jacob does. He is also letting lots of situations roll off his back, and able to deal with them (moving on).

The new anti-depressant he is taking, Lexapro, and his new environment at school has made all the difference. I am so happy for him!

The Start of a New School Year

The start of Middle School has gone pretty smoothly. Jake seems to adapting to his teachers, the new school environment and even the bus. He is placed in the "center program", which there is one teacher and one para-pro within each class of 10-15 students. He will be switching classes just the rest of the 7th and 8th graders, but the room are all within close proximity of each other. Of coarse the subjects are modified. The bus is door to door and even lets the kids out at a seperate entrance door to the school, not in the main door with the other children.


Ken and I attended Open House last night, met all the teachers and learned about each class. We were impressed by the teachers expectations. They all seem to be cohesive with class participation as one of the main grading components. Also an emphasis on bringing a pencils and binders with them each day impacts their grade. The way the subjects are presented are different than in a typical classroom, more visual and hands on. Ken and I felt this was more realistic for our son. I have a good feeling about this year.

The only thing I'm concerned with so far is the mix with the other typical kids in the school. So far he has been picked on on the lunch room, and we are addressing that so it will not get out of hand. His only time with the typical kids are before school, in between class and at lunch. His two elective classes are even within the center program.

Movie

To better understand people with autism, you must watch the movie Temple Grandin. This is a true story about an Autism woman. It shows how different her mind works, and how she was able to over come this disability with her mothers support. Quite an amazing person, she over came and conquered this neurological disorder! At present, she is 63 of age. Claire Danes plays Temple.

August 25, 2010

There's just over 2 weeks until school starts, and I'm questioning whether or not to send Jacob. I am afraid to send him to school because of his current behavior. If his mood does not change, I cannot.

We have been working with changing his medicines with the psychiatrist all summer, and now he is at the point where is going off all medications to start something new. I just know puberty has a role in his behavior also.

He is so touchy now we have been walking on egg shells around the house, being careful not to upset him. But it doesn't matter how careful and quiet we are, he is set off by the slightest thing. I'm walking too loud, I laughed out loud (and he thought I was laughing at him), his pants are the wrong shade of blue, etc. etc. Everything and anything has set him off to extreme agitation that he yells out in anger. Then the anger turns into rage where he screams, throws and kicks things. After that, he begins to scream and cry inconsolably. The crying goes on and on, and sometimes he acts like he is delirious. It's a strange thing and very scary as a parent to observe. That stage seems like it lasts forever, as it sometimes lasts for hours. Then sobbing sets in. He is feeling awful about his meltdown, that he is not able to control it. He is frightened. He hates feeling like this, hates himself, and the world around him. It's been horrible for him, not to mention everyone in the house, including our pets.

I have tried different ways to deal with this situation. I have learned getting angry and punishing certainly does not help. Trying to reason with Jake does not help either. At this point trying to head off the meltdowns are merely impossible. Something isn't right being a chemical imbalance or similar. These fits are just not his fault. For all the parents with typical children reading this, you cannot handle this type of situation the same you would with your typical child. It just does not work.

All I can do for now is keep the lines of communication open between the two of us, and give him lots of love and patience. I keep telling him to trust me, that I am trying to get some help for him and he will feel better. For now I think its best for me to stay home from work and not to leave him alone until this stage blows over.

This summer was different than most. Jake spent most of his time inside, rather than out. We had a bad experience in early summer of camping when the weather was uncomfortably hot and Jake implanted that in his mind, (of extreme heat), and refused to do any outdoor activities.

Jacob is usually bouncing around from activity to activity, inside, outside, inside, outside. Taking a ride on his bike then coming home and sword fighting by himself in the backyard. After that, coming inside to make a shield out of duct tape, playing a video game, then maybe a phone call to a friend. He goes from one activity to another very quickly. But not this summer.

For days I haven't see a smile on the kids face. For days I don't hear laughter from him about a silly thing that happened on TV. He just wants to play video games and sit and play on the computer. I can't even bribe him to go out and do his favorite activities. He does not want to do anything I suggest.

This summer I have dragged him along to a few weekend get-a-ways with me. And when he is away, and out of this environment, I get my Jacob back. He is smiling and happy, which makes me happy. He has enjoyed fishing up north, the water parks, and seeing his cousins.

I am wondering where is my son? I miss him laughing and repeating inappropriate jokes about farts. There's nothing in the world that is better than hearing your child giggle. But when you don't hear those giggles anymore, your heart just sinks.

6th Grade Coming To An End

Jake finished up the rest of the school year taken out of the mainstream classroom and placed in the resource room for the entire school day. Working with a wonderful special-ed teacher at his own pace, he made extraordinary academic strides because of the change. He has learned more in the last weeks in an secluded environment than in an all inclusive environment. He was able to feel more comfortable with a room filled with bean bag chairs, and rocking chair at his disposal. The teachers were amazing people, they constantly reassured him throughout the day, helped him organize his space, and led him by the hand step by step throughout each day. They were always close by and came to his aid when he needed them. Remembering Jacobs capacity for stimulation, his grade level, anxiety issues, inability to problem solve, and maturity level, he flourished. Also importantly they were there to handle any type of social situation that occurred between Jake and other students. I'm sure the teacher were exhausted at the end of each day because he required higher than average attention than regular students, and I was so grateful! This is exactly what Jacob has needed while attending school. . He has never experienced this type of teachers EVER. I am convinced this is the type of school environment he needs to learn to his highest capacity.

The teacher tried many forms of teaching methods and incentives to prompt Jacob to do his best work. She found the TEACH method using 3 pieces of work was what made Jacob accelerate. After those 3 pieces of work was completed, Jacob could then do what he chooses for 10 minutes or so (read in the rocking chair, etc). After all this time, Jacob is getting the support he needed for academic success.

His behavior at home has turned around 180 degrees. He was not so uptight, his sleeping patterns finally were going back to normal, he was not always worried about school and refusing to go, the crying after school had stopped. The pressure was all off of Jacob and he used it to excel.

IF YOU DON'T FIGHT FOR YOUR CHILD
WHO WILL?

Advocate

I should of done this earlier, much earlier. My Advocate was from The ARC, which is an
organization that advocates for persons with disabilities. This woman was referred to me via a group support meeting that I belonged to of parents with kids of autism. If you would like the Advocates name, please email me privately, and I will give you her information. I just don't feel comfortable publishing it on-line with out her knowledge.

Originally I phoned her asking me if she would attend the annual IEP meeting. I explained our circumstances and she agreed she would consult with me first and then attend the meeting at the school with me. To her office I brought all of Jacobs paperwork in a HUGE binder.

I keep every e-mail and notes of telephone conversations with dates and times. I also keep a calendar of Jacobs daily behavior, if anything happened out of the ordinary with him, missed school days, etc. Also I have 2 HUGE 2 inch binders filled with copies of Jake's report cards, progress reports, school correspondence, IEP data, mental reports from physicians, test scores from is psychological exams, school meeting notes, and just about anything to do with Jake. It has been extremely helpful that all of this information is together, and within some organizational order.

The Advocate told me how to prepare for our IEP and I had a lot of work to do. Since I wanted Jacob to switch school districts and attend the school for autism she wanted to me write a formal request letter to the head of the districts special education office. The advocate helped me significantly with the proper wording I should use, and also told me that I should request in my letter a date in which I would like a response. Also I was to type out a list of Jacobs issues, a parent letter of input, (to attached to the IEP). Included in the input letter should include what where Jacob was and where he is now, academically and emotionally, what I want for Jacob and why. I also needed to type out who is Jacob and his likes and interests and what I see for his future. One more thing that I needed to work on was a list of accommodations that I would like implemented, a wish list of sorts.

After our meeting I felt better, as though I was armed. I was still very nervous. She would tell me what the school could and couldn't do, the best way to approach them. My only goal was to get the support Jacob was entitled to from the schools.

Its Almost Time for Our IEP

I have invited my fellow friend and aspie mother to accompany me to a few meetings these last months mostly for support. I am sad because my husband Ken has not attended them with me. He just doesn't take time out from his work to attend things of this sort. At one end of the table there have been 4 or more school staff, and at the other end it was just me, which I have found it intimidating at times.

I am requesting that Jacob to go out of the school district and into another to attend a school just for kids with autism. I feel that the public school has done Jacob more damage than good over the years, and I want no more of it. At this point, I haven't had too much luck communicating with the districts special ed department either.

Feeling so helpless, I decided to enlist the help of a professional advocate to accompany me to Jacobs upcoming IEP. I feel as though I need the help of a professional who has been around the block a few times with school districts, who is savvy on the IEP procedure's, special education laws and our rights. I don't feel like the school district has been fair to me, as to not returning my phone calls over the past year, and I'm done. It's time to let them know I am serious.

Dreading the IEP, May 2010

Jacobs IEP is coming up, and I am dreading it. All the past ones have not gone bad, I actually enjoy listening to the teacher speak about Jacobs progress. This year has just been so turbulent I want to take full advantage of my rights and get what Jacob deserves to succeed in this educational system. With so many things going on right now in my personal life, it is hard to concentrate and make sure these things take place. I have gone to numerous seminars about special ed but am still have so much to learn, and not comfortable on my own understanding.

I am keeping in mind that the whole school district has huge budget cuts for this next year, and also that the administration is not quick in suggesting everything that Jacob is entitled to.

More About the Change

March, 2010


After waiting over 2 weeks, I told Jake he would be transferring schools. Although I was not sold on the idea, I tried to play it up to him that this would be a good thing and I was on board with it. Of coarse immediately he saw it as he was leaving his favorite teacher of all time, and of coarse reacted unfavorably as I suspected he would.

Now we were into the month of March, there's not much left of the school year. All of a sudden I get a phone call from the psychologist telling me that he had contacted the school were Jacob was to be transferred to and there was absolutely no room for him. The plan has changed, again. Jacob is to stay put at his current elementary school and continue to have all classes in the RCR until there is room for him. At this point, I was frustrated, angry and elated. Frustrated at the way all this took place, telling me he HAD to completely change schools, then say "oops, there's no room for him", then telling us that Jacob can stay where he is most comfortable. Angry that I just got done telling Jacob, and I got him all upset. Elated because I know this is the best place for Jacob to be to learn for the rest of the year. *&%!
Hopefully this post makes sense, can you tell I'm mad!

Just When We Think We're On the Right Track....

February, 2010 Meeting with the Team

The team met back to check Jacobs progress on how he was doing regarding his new placement,and the psychologist from the school has informed me that Jacob cannot continue to stay where he has been placed, in the resource room(RCR).

He stated me that the "resource room is not set up for a student to be in their full time". It is set up for kids to come in for only intermittent help, or small group instruction for a certain subject. Mind you, the psychologist has gotten reports from Jacobs teacher and myself about Jacobs improved postive changes. Since the change has been so positive, Ken and I thought that Jacob would just be spending the rest of his school days in the RCR. We certainly did not want our Jake to go back into the main classroom and we certainly did not expect this news today.

At this point, my smile and heart just dropped. He spoke that Jacob need to enter a DIFFERENT school within our district, and be placed into a smaller classroom size, and this needed to happen AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. He told us Jacob could definately not stay at his current school and had to move. What a shocker, I didn't know what to say! I reiterated Jacobs progress and asked if he could stay. His answer was "no".

If I knew now, what I didn't know then, I believe this meeting would of ended differently. I would of stopped the meeting right then, and called in the guns (a professional advocate). Ignorantly, I accepted what the psychologist had told me. I thought I had no choice; what ever the school says, it had to be done.

Oh no! All I'm thinking was, Jacob HATES change! Jacob does not transition well at all! This will be a disaster! The turnaround that he has made, will come to an end, and he will be back, if not worse than where he was a month or so ago. Telling me he hates himself, telling me he hates everyone. The meltdowns....

Within 3 days of his all-day move to the resource room, Jacobs mood has turned around 360 degrees. In the first full week, I caught him singing in the car on the way to school . What a switch! Instead of tears running down his face after school, yelling trying to explain what happened, he jumped into the car said "I'm having the BEST DAY EVER!" No ranting at night about the other kids at school, upset that he was punished for something or what he would be punished for in the future, no crying how he felt worthless, less arguing with his brother and myself. Our evenings were actually becoming enjoyable and peaceful. He even got along with his 5 year-old cousins, which normally he had a short fuse towards on the weekend. That was amazing!

Of coarse I shared this change with his resource room teacher, and I thanked her up and down for all her hard work she has been putting in. I realize her room is not set up for a student to be in there full time, and she had so completely change around her schedule plus come up with a daily work plan for my son. I also added I would help her in any way she needed: coming into the room and working with other children, whatever she needed.

January 2010 New Changes

After calling an emergency meeting with his teachers and explaining what was happening at home, it was suggested and agreed that Jake be taken of his mainstream classroom with 30 other kids and put into the resource room, (where he feels most comfortable), for the entire day.

It was clear to me the atmosphere in the big class with typical children was too large, too fast, and too much sensory stimulating plus too much everything over the top for him. I had to convince the teachers that this was an urgent matter because. I was honestly afraid Jake was close to a nervous breakdown if he was pushed any further at school . He felt extreme stress at school exhibiting daily: stomach aches and vomiting, hiding under his bed covers in the morning and not wanting to go to school, sleepless nights, significant meltdowns at home over the school day events, and other physical aliments. It was not healthy for him to continue on the same path at school, and I thought possibly I would begin home schooling him.

I felt that this was an up hill battle trying to explain this to his regular teacher. She has always been a teacher in a typical classroom, and did not quite "get" it. She seemed cooperative, but could not grasp the concept that he was not intentionally being naughty,and understand that my boy was just on overload within the classroom of 30 kids. Her complaints: He could not get started by himself on classroom assignments, he would loose focus very quickly, he would not have his Science book out and ready when it was Science time, he would forget to turn in assignments, he would not line up with the rest of the kids. Therefore she would take steps to punish him by taking away recess, or making him do over the assignments that were lost (in his desk). Jake just could not keep up with the rest of the classroom. She also did not understand why he was so stressed out and why Jake had anxiety about getting in trouble. Thankfully, I was trying to reiterate this to his special ed teachers as well, and they understood.

Unfortunately the teachers felt that I was pointing fingers at them, and one of the meetings ended with me in tears. I was frustrated and I guess I didn't convey myself as I thought I had with no intentions of playing the blaming game. It took a few meetings but in the end I was happy that Jake would have his own space in the resource room and have all his classes there because I think it will take all the stress of of him. He was comfortable with the teachers in there, and I felt that Jake's feeling comfortable with his surroundings was number 1 at this point. At the end of a month, the team would come back and re-evaluate Jacobs behavior at school and at home.

We tried to take it easy during Christmas break, although there were still many sleepless nights for Jake. The excitement of the season led to much anxiety causing Jacob to play events over and over in his head which he was unable to shut off. He also seemed quick to aggravate causing lots of yelling and outbursts.
A trip to pediatrician was made in hopes the Doc would increase his medication. Jake had a growth spurt adding extra pounds, so maybe he needed a tune up as far as dosage goes. Unfortunately the Doc would not make the increase, and suggested a Psychiatrist. Months earlier we had a Psychiatrist to administer Jacobs meds but it became financially overwhelming for us to pay for the visits. We have huge co-pays with mental health and deductibles to be met. This year we have spent more on medical than any other year, and both Ken and my work has been anything but steady.
The effects of Jacobs behavior was rubbing off on the whole family. It was wearing me down. I was unable to be as patient as I usually was, and at this time of year I myself struggle with depression. I found myself quick tempered and on edge.
Ken was intolerable to Jacobs crying fits, he seems unsympathetic and uninterested in trying to fix what was bothering his son. This in turn bothered me, because I was depending on my husband to jump in and help out when he was home. But instead he either went to another part of the house where he couldn't hear Jacob sobbing or would leave the house all together. Jacobs older brother had enough with the outbursts and crying every single day. It would mostly bother him at the end of the day when he was studying. He began yelling at Jacob, which lit Jacobs fire even more. We were all were suffering.